I am tired today. I am tired of living a life that is not mine. Except that it is. How do I reconcile that? It’s not mine, but here I am.
Many moments, many decisions have taken me some distance from my inner compass. I didn’t see it at the time. I didn’t notice. I didn’t do it on purpose. I simply woke up one morning and thought, “What? Is this it?"
This isn’t the life I dreamed of. It feels like a problem. We’re told to follow our dreams and it sounds like a wonderful idea but how many of us dare? Yet someone had to chase their dreams in order to build skyscrapers, walk on the moon, or invent the espresso machine (thank you!).
Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream. A dream that had the power to inspire generations. Maybe I’ve been dreaming too small. Maybe I’ve been looking to serve myself and my own comforts, maybe it’s time to expand my horizons. Maybe, instead of looking towards the life I want I need to lift my eyes and imagine the world I want.
Maybe it’s time to step out of my comfortable cocoon and brave unknown dangers for the wonder of flight: maybe it’s time to embrace the unknown.
It must take awhile to learn how to fly, I can’t imagine I’ll be very good at first. But I think I am built for it. I think everyone is, some have just forgotten why. It can look scary out in the wide open where everyone can see me and there's no solid ground beneath; but the view, the freedom, the lightness — it must be worth it!
It’s funny how sometimes others, even those we love, can want us to stay safe, to stay small, to stay rooted. Are they afraid of us crashing and looking foolish, or afraid they’ll get left behind? I wonder.
I wonder too, when the whisper comes next, the whisper that says, “Be you, be bold, be brave.” I wonder if I’ll listen this time. I wonder if I’ll step up and step out. I wonder if I’ll answer the call.