3 Awesome ways to ruin your vacation!

Ruin Your Vacation...

Step-One: Decide What Experience Everyone Should Have

The roller coaster gave a hiccup, and then a roar, then it raced, then it soared, back up and around, over and down. My insides squirmed and held on for dear life. My heart gave a leap, a flutter, and a jolt.


Wheeeeeeeeeeee!!!! What fun to fly and think I might die!!! 

My smile stretched from Timbuktu to Notre Dame, and my hands gave a little clap. I bounced on my toes and chanted “again...       again!”

Then I saw my companions, my family members three... looking grim, even dismal and pasty no doubt. No jubilant shouts, no widespread grins, no desire to do it again.

But why, and how? How can that not be fun? You losers, you wusses, you lame-o’s. What’s wrong with you? What’s your problem? You don’t know fun when you see it!

Try, try... try again anyway. Or are you trying to ruin my day?

No, no they protested! It’s just that whirling and twirling while whizzing and whirring was not their map of fun. They liked sailing, and rocking, and scooting and other pursuits.

I threw my hands up and said “fine...   ok...   let’s find something where we all agree.” I bought them some peanuts, popcorn, and candy, then found them a bench that was jolly and jelly. 

They put their butts down, smiled and cawed. “Good luck on that ride mom, we hope you have fun!”

Step-Two: Leave Your Mind at Home

I went on vacation but my mind stayed behind. My body didn’t care, it still did pirouettes and made snow angels in the sand. It drank rikki tikki tavies at the mermaid watering hole and took a nap under the sun of the moon. 

But my mind missed out, it decided to stay home, hiding under the volcano of papers on my desk and trying to pry open my laptop. It ran circles around the table top, working to accomplish my to-dos. When it failed, it slithered to the kitchen and attempted to tidy-up. But without my hands or eyes, it was pretty sunk. 

It could have joined the fun, my plane ticket was good for body and mind... the airline doesn’t bother. No extra charge. Even teleporting’s okay.

One night, I was particularly sneaky, and got my mind to join me for a spin. We went out dancing barefoot under the stars. A good time was had by all! But by morning’s light, it had evacuated once more... not back to home, but into tomorrow.

It was already figuring and planning, organizing and scheming. So instead of helping me taste this morning’s sweet pineapple, it was already on to tomorrow’s salty kalua pig.

At last, utterly and completely rung out and exasperated, wishing my mind would stop racing and return to me, I grabbed it, pinned it down with a palm tree and asked... what do you want... why will you not stay with me?

To which it answered... all you have to do is let go, and not worry about where I am. It is only you wishing for me to be somewhere other than where I am that keeps me from being with you now.

“That’s it?” I asked. 

“That’s it.” She answered.

I smiled, gave it a pat and said “thank you for explaining that,” and we wandered off, into the sunset, together.  

Step-Three: Hold tightly to your expectations

I had dreamed of this day for many moons. In my Willy-Wonky dreams the kids turned cartwheels and walked on clouds. Their little voices turned up in song. “Thank you mama!  Thank you! Thank you for spending the money, thank you for taking the time! We love this place, we adore it, it’s magical!”

In my Willy-Wonky dreams I spewed glitter from the ends of my hair and fairy dust from my finger tips. Everyone got rose colored glasses and we danced down the yellow brick road of my heart. Holding hands and skipping on our way.

And then this day arrived... but to my surprise it didn’t come with singing, or skipping, or glitter. In their place came coughing, and wheezing, and dirty, discarded, used up boxes of tissue.

This wasn’t supposed to happen, this wasn’t the script from my dream. Who allowed this? How dare they burst my bubble! I had a plan, had they not received the memo?

What now? What now? A weekend with us all trapped in this rented room? 

This isn’t the dream! It’s broken now. Everything’s broken. 

But wait! Where did the dream come from? Where did it start? I know! I know! It came from the whispers in my heart. 

And my heart’s still here, hurrah, hooray!! It can still lead the way. I grab a tea and a cardigan, then snuggle in too. A hand to the forehead, a kiss on the cheek, a little glitter falls from my hair.

It’s all ok, let’s see what’s on the TV.