The Relationship You Don't Need

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I am a creator.
I am light.
I am love.

It seems as if…

I'm a mother.
I’m a wife.
I’m a daughter.
I’m a sister.
I’m a friend.

But those are definitions of my connections, the roles I play.  They are not who I am.

When we define ourselves by our relationships we lose ourselves.  We feel as if we will cease to exist if those relationships end, change, or don’t go the way we’d hoped.

I am okay… I am more than okay.
I am good.
I am whole.

Magic happens when we are grounded within ourselves and then go out in the world to be with others.

The people I love are free. Free to be themselves. They don’t have to act the way I want them to because the way they are in the world doesn’t define me. I’m able to want for them what they want for themselves.

I am free.
They are free.
We are free.

Free of expectations we can be authentic. Even compromise is authentic. I don’t lose myself to meet someone halfway. I can seek to understand their world and be generous in sharing my own.

Two people, fully realized, come together in possibility — not obligation.

I choose.
I want.
I can.

What do you choose?
What do you want?
What can you do?

Together we choose.
Together we want.
Together we can.

In what seems like an ironic twist, the relationships I cherish the most are the ones I don’t need.

To love someone without needing them is unconditional love. To love someone without needing them to love you back… to love someone without needing them to say the right thing… to love someone without needing them to do the right thing… to love someone without needing them to be with you… to love someone without needing them to need you. 

The less we need the more we love.
The less we need the more we have.
The less we need the more we are.

Without need there is no fear and without fear there is no struggle, no suffering.  We want without attachment to the outcome.  

I want to be with you.
I want to know you.
I want you.